St Conti Communicator

CMS Wire recently reported in its “Social Media Minute” that Canada is big into Facebook.  Actually, it reported in   More Figures on Facebook’s Worldwide Popularity that roughly 43% of its population is on Facebook.  I was not surprised to read this.  See, I have to thank a Canadian friend of mine for getting me on Facebook, and, once I was, I found many of my Canadian cousins and friends already very active on the site.  So, go, Canada!  DSJC.

This week two of the email newsletters to which I subscribe had a swimming theme.  That’s appropriate, considering we are at the height of summer.  Each newsletter serves a different purpose for me – one is from Trust Your Journey, which has to do with well being; the other is from Susan Finch, who is a PR/social media consultant (check out the new St. Conti Communications website Susan designed for me).  Yet, they carried a similar message – JUST KEEP TRYING.

It’s been said over and over again, many people are struggling right now, a lot of us.  But, some of us are succeeding, too, even after being dealt tough blows.  How?  Well, by choosing to “go with the flow.”  According to Trust Your Journey and Susan Finch, people are going with the flow in at least two ways:  by changing direction and by taking more strokes.

In the Trust Your Journey newsletter, writer Beth Brownlee relays a story about a woman who fell into a pool as a child and thrashed around until she was saved.  Beth wrote, “My friend said ‘saved’ had a whole new meaning when she realized that the pool’s edge was within easy reach if she had just turned around instead of thrashing around.”  Beth’s point was this:  “…many of us are truly just an arm’s length away from whatever we want to achieve in this life.  We often become so caught up in our struggles that we don’t take the time to turn around and realize the edge of the pool is right there behind us.  It’s just a thought away–like so many of life’s solutions.” 

It’s that idea of taking a step back and looking at a situation from another perspective, changing the way you are seeing it.  When you do this, sometimes a new answer presents itself.

In her Summer Newsletter, Susan Finch makes a different and also helpful point.  Her point is to just keep working away at your goals, even if it’s a little at a time; make progress.  Susan wrote, “As long as you keep moving forward in some way you can make progress in your business (I-DSJC-would also insert “Life.”).  Hats off to all of you who have been embracing social media, adding new elements to your websites and marketing routines….  If you can work in a 15 minute block of time a day or every other day to explore social media, that would be a great start.” 

I agree with Susan, too.  As long as you are making some progress, you can feel good about the fact that you are doing SOMETHING, and you never know where that progress will take you.

Just keep swimming.  It’s bound to be better than doing nothing at all.

I found this quote by Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider of Northern Exposure that nicely sums things up, “A person has three choices in life. You can swim against the tide and get exhausted, or you can tread water and let the tide sweep you away, or you can swim with the tide, and let it take you where it wants you to go. “  Just keep swimming.

DSJC

It was a hectic Friday morning, one in which I was running several errands and feeling very much in a hurry prior to starting my work routine for the day.  I had to have some keys made, so I went to the local hardware store.  I expected to simply have a key made.  I was handed a key to simple wisdom.

At first I was annoyed.  The older man in charge of making the keys was not in the same hurry that I was in.  Rather, he shuffled slowly, smiling all the while.  His gate arrested mine.

I told him simply, “I need a key.”  He responded, “That’s what I’m here for.”

He suggested I take one of the designer keys to suit my personality.  There are keys painted with smiley faces, hearts, flowers, and a dozen more designs.  He waited patiently as I quickly shuffled through the keys.  He whistled quietly, still smiling.  I selected a patriotic key, one covered in small American flags.

He said, “Good choice.  That’s a good one.”

This time, it was my turn to smile a little.

As he was making my key, an announcement came over the loudspeaker, “Keys, Line 1!  Keys, Line 1!”

I said to him, “You seem to be pretty busy today.  Go ahead; answer Line 1.”

He smiled and said, “Yep, when I am finished serving you.”  He returned his focus to my key.

Something in the exchange triggered a memory for me.  It reminded me of a saying that a spiritual advisor used to tell me. 

He used to say, “Relax into it.”  It was his philosophy on how to deal with stress.  Relax into a situation to let your mind think more clearly, and often the solution presents itself.  The philosophy applies to any situation, even if it doesn’t involve a problem or challenge.  Relax into it, and things will go better.

My thoughts brought me to a more recent example about handling stressful situations.  A friend of mine, Beth Brownlee of Trust Your Journey, launched her company on the concept of relaxing into a stressful situation, of trusting one’s journey, even the major challenges presented by Life, as a way of growing and living a fulfilled life.  Beth overcame breast cancer.

Somehow this key man reminded me of what I already know, and I’m glad he did. 

I left the store relaxed and smiling.  The key man gave me back my key to the simple wisdom of “relaxing into it.”

DSJC

On Saturday, January 24, many people in the sports world were informed that North Carolina State University head women’s basketball coach, Kay Yow died of breast cancer after a very long battle with the disease. 

By all accounts, coach Kay Yow was an inspiring figure both in the world of sports and in everyday life.  No doubt dozens of articles will be published about her coaching accomplishments, among them leading the 1988 United States Women’s Olympic Basketball Team that won the gold medal in Seoul, South Korea.  They also will note that she coached her teams to more than 700 wins.  They may even note that, on February 16, 2007, the basketball court at the North Carolina State University campus was named Kay Yow Court at Reynolds Coliseum.  I would like to make note of some additional items.

In summer of 2008, I was honored to have a couple of conversations with Yow.  I was working as an editor for a women’s magazine at the time.  My job was to write profiles of inspiring breast cancer survivors.  Though Yow and I completed the profile, it was never published by the magazine; I left the magazine just after doing those interviews.  Just the experience of having interviewed Yow and writing her profile impacted me.  It’s easy to understand how she could inspire so many players to victory upon victory.

At the time that I interviewed her, we talked about how she was fighting breast cancer for the third time.  By all accounts she was very ill, yet she was also very strong.  It was obvious it didn’t occur to her not to fight.  One just fights.

Coach Yow said, “I tell my players, ‘Don’t wallow and drown in self pity.  That’s a waste of energy.  But, it is okay to swish your feet a little and then get out.’”

She added that it is normal to feel some self-pity, but a grateful attitude and the right perspective are crucial to a good mindset. 

Yow also told me about when she got word of her last recurrence.  Yow said, “I prayed to God and said, ‘I am not asking why.’ The only thing I asked was to have a purpose.  I just didn’t want to go through the battle without a purpose.” 

In her desire to fulfill her purpose and help as many people as possible, Kay Yow and the Women’s Basketball Coaches Association (WBCA) launched a non-profit organization.  In December 2007, the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund was formed in partnership with The V Foundation for Cancer Research to raise money in the fight against cancer.   

“Cancer is something that touches everyone’s life, and it is important to understand that we all can make a difference.  Everyone can be a part of finding an answer,” said Kay at the Fund announcement. 

The Greek historian, Polybius (203-120 B.C.), said, “Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories.” 

Kay Yow knew how to make proper use of her victories.  She even turned her breast cancer battle into a win.   To learn more about the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Foundation, write to The V Foundation for Cancer Research at 106 Towerview Court, Cary, NC 27513.  Call: 919-380-9505.  Go to:  The V Foundation for Cancer Research website at: http://www.jimmyv.org/ and search on “Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund.”  (The name here also is a hyperlink).  

DSJC

“All right, you may cross.”  A sprite crossing guard who shepherds elementary school kids to and from my daughter’s school says these words many times each day.  The crossing guard, dressed in what usually looks like a house coat under her DayGlo yellow-green vest labeled “Crossing Guard” and wearing a red baseball cap, the tips of her gray curls just touching her shoulders, is all of four feet, nothing.  Yet, hundreds of people dutifully obey her commands:  “You may cross.”  “Stay in the cross walk.”  “Do not cross until I tell you.”

Standing at the curb, I’ve sometimes thought, “What’s the matter with us?  We can take her.  Just step out and go.”  But, I’ve never done that.  Sure, I’ve seen a few people who have, many of them quickly apologizing and returning to the curb or promising not to do it again as they scurry across to the other side while she chastises them.  See, even the rebellious ones have trepidation over going against the crossing guard.

Perhaps this is because we know she’s there to protect us.  Well, okay, she’s there to protect the kids.  Us adults just get to tag along and are expected to set good examples so the kids don’t get hurt. 

It’s really pretty cool; you know, having a crossing guard, someone to go out ahead of you and ensure the coast is clear; someone who’s been there before and knows the safe way to do it; someone to say, “Don’t go until all is safe.”

It kind of makes one wish we all had crossing guards for other aspects of our lives, someone who could keep us from dating the wrong person, from making uninformed investments, from experiencing many of Life’s pitfalls.  Boy, things would be a lot easier if we all had crossing guards for all that, someone saying, “Stay within the yellow lines,” whenever we even begin to misstep.

But then, we wouldn’t experience the full scope of Life either.  Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book, The Prophet, “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears…  The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”  Gibran was right.

So, while I will continue to follow the commands of my daughter’s school crossing guard, I won’t wish for a crossing guard for the other aspects of my Life.  While Ms. Red Baseball Cap with DayGlo Vest is keeping the children and me safe, I want to occasionally make the wrong decision and then deal with the consequences.  We all must want that. 

Challenges make us grow, and, when we get to the other side of a challenge, when we beat the challenge, then we also get to savor the joy of having overcome it.  We get to know self-confidence. 

Decades ago, I read a book by Dr. Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!  It had a profound effect on how I approach Life.  The title says it all:  Yes, acknowledge fear, but just keep going.  Acknowledge that you can do it.  Then do it!

So, now I say to you, “Acknowledge the fear, but just keep going,” not because I’ve taken on the red hat and DayGlo mantle of being your Life’s crossing guard, but because you need to know you can handle just about anything Life hands you, even if you have to first work through the sorrow of some challenge.  Get through it, and you may know joy, too. 

Just… follow the commands of the crossing guard when it comes to getting to and from school.

All right, you may cross.

DSJC.

In 2002, I wrote a short story called “Michigan, You Walk a Long Way,” and I was honored to have it chosen by Chicken Soup Enterprises for its Chicken Soup to Inspire the Body & Soul book. I was doubly honored in late 2008 when the Chicken Soup people chose it as a 101 Best Story for its Chicken Soup Happily Ever After book (which, by the way, is one of my all-time favorite Chicken Soup books). Anyway, in that story, I made a resolution to walk an hour every day and return home to tell my husband I love him. Well, I kept that resolution for several years. Then, yes, I fell out of my walking routine. Well reading the story again over the winter holidays has renewed my resolve to walk frequently (okay, I’ll shoot for everyday), and return home to tell my husband I love him.

Because I also retain rights to my “Michigan” story, I am happy to share it here for you. It might just inspire you to do the same or something similar. NOTE: The other stories in Chicken Soup Happily Ever After are really terrific. I encourage you to check out the book. Enjoy!

Michigan, You Walk a Long Way

“Michigan, you walk a long way. I watch you.” “Yes, sir, I have.” “When I was 35, my doctor told me to walk an hour everyday, it make me live longer. I walk from Oso Parkway and go down to Alicia. Then I go home and tell my wife I love her.”

I was into my first week of training for the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day, Los Angeles 2002, a three-day walk to raise money to benefit underserved women with breast cancer. The walk is 60 miles long, 20 miles each day. I nearly skipped my walk that day, thinking that I really should get started to work an hour or so early, so I could complete a new business proposal that I started the day before. But I decided to walk first, that it would help clear my head. I felt I had to do it.

According to the training schedule the Walk organizers gave me, I was to walk three miles that day to stay on track. Each week I would progressively walk further and further until I worked up to two 12-mile back-to-back walks in one weekend prior to the big event. To prepare for these various walks, I spent an afternoon several weeks prior mapping out various locations, to determine how far each one was – one mile, 1.5 miles, four miles, etc.

Anyway, I walked four miles the day before, because I missed it earlier in the week to prepare for an early teleconference. So, I considered putting this day’s off until the next day. That thought was fleeting. Again, I felt I just needed to do it. So I pulled out my maps. The 1.5 mile (one way) route was to Gilleran Park (Mission Viejo, Calif.) and back. So, I gathered my things, among them my headphones and a book on tape, Chicken Soup for the Soul, tape one, volume one. Because my favorite, gray sweatshirt was in the wash, I dug out and pulled on a very old sweatshirt, one I hadn’t worn in nearly ten years. It was a gift from one of my ex-husband’s friends, and it had the University of Michigan logo across the front of it. Off I went, happily listening to my tape, tearing up now and again at an especially poignant story and oh so glad I decided to walk after all.

About ¾ of the way into it, I spotted the shape of a man a quarter mile ahead of me on the same side of the street. I didn’t think much of it, except that it didn’t matter. He was going the same direction and was way ahead of me. I’d never catch up or pass him before I reached the park and turned around. So I continued at my pace. Nevertheless, the phrase “Stay alert. Stay alive,” went through my head as I remembered attending a Walk orientation meeting a month or two earlier. I soon realized I was gaining on the man. I briefly considered crossing the street. Then I saw a female jogger approach and pass him as she came up the street toward me. He hadn’t even glanced at her. So, I decided he was out exercising like the rest of us, and I needn’t be concerned. I kept walking, listening to my tape. The park is high above the street as you approach its driveway. People who park on the street, gain access to it by climbing a stairway that leads from the sidewalk. The man, whom by now I could see was an older man, was on the stairs about halfway up, looking at me. I could tell he wanted to say something, so I stopped, looked up at him, took off my headphones, and smiled. He said, “Michigan (referring to the blue and gold logo on my white sweatshirt), you walk a long way. I watch you.” I said, “Yes, sir, I did,” and kept smiling, waiting. I felt comfortable talking to him. Then he told me how, when he was 35 years old, he was sick. His doctor told him to start walking everyday, that it would make him healthier, stronger. He said from that day he has walked one hour every day, and this day he was 65! He held up his arms in a strongman pose. “I am strong and healthy,” he said.

He went on to tell me that everyday he walks. Then he goes home to his wife and tells her he loves her. He said that keeps him healthy, too. He added that he tells her he walks for her, because he loves her. The man then said something that made me catch my breath. He simply said, with force and a pointed finger, “You will live a long time if you do the same – walk an hour every day and tell your husband you do it because you love him.”

“You walk a long way.” That statement could be a metaphor for the last two years of my life (and for the lives of those around me). I am a 36-year-old breast cancer survivor.

I thought I was doing the Avon 3-Day walk, because I received so much help from so many people and organizations, and because my sister had a passion to do it. That nice man made me realize that I am also walking for the same reason that I endured two mastectomies, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and the removal of my ovaries – because I love my husband, children, family, friends, and other people in my life so much that I want to be around for a lot more years.

I will walk every day, and I will go home and tell my husband I walk because I love him. DSJC

How do you buy eco-friendly toys? Orange County’s Outdoor Education Center director, Christine Kirk, provided an article to the online parenting site, Root & Sprout, where she shared her ideas for how to make buying green toys one of your New Year’s resolutions. Check it out at: http://www.rootandsprout.com/20701.html.

Now, Root & Sprout put the article under the ”Preschool” heading, but Chris’ advice for buying green applies to anything you buy.  Buy locally made items; buy items that can be recycled, etc.  Click on the link and scroll down to the article.  You’ll see what I mean.

DSJC   

Among my New Year’s Resolutions–besides blogging more frequently–is to read more books.   One book will be World Wide Rave by David Meerman-Scott, the same wizard who gave us The New Rules of Marketing & PR, which you really should read, if you want to understand why and how social media works.

Anyway, World Wide Rave is due to come out March 3.  One of them is mine!

Find out more about World Wide Rave at http://www.worldwiderave.com/ where you will see a contribution by yours truly about the beautiful city of Mission Viejo and one of my favoriate places, Lake Mission Viejo.

If you can’t click over just now, here’s the photo I contributed:

Yes! This photo was taken New Year’s Day to remind me of more than a few of my New Year’s resolutions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  DSJC.

Were you lucky enough to have one of those teachers who brought education to life?  You know the kind, perhaps a history teacher who had your class reenact a famous scene?  Or maybe a science teacher who had you build a roller coaster then took your class to the local amusement park to shout out the names of the forces as you rode the coaster?  Well, if you had such a teacher, then you also very likely remember more of what THAT teacher taught you than you remember from other, less engaging classes.  You remember because you involved several if not all of your senses, which, researchers say, contributes to better learning and retention. 

Well, the kids of Orange County, Calif. now have a LOCAL resource through their schools, clubs, Scouting groups, churches for just such learning and growth experiences.  It’s the Outdoor Education Center in Orange, Calif., which is directed by Christine Kirk.  I’ve mentioned her articles before.  

Anyway, Chris and the Outdoor Education Center are currently featured in a couple of great articles by two online publications:  The Orange County Register Green OC blog and Root & Sprout.  The first is a good overview of what the Outdoor Education Center is about and shares that it will officially open this January with limited overnight camping programs.  The second is an article on the importance of outdoor experiences in science education, written by Christine Kirk, especially focused at the elementary school level.  For anyone interested in teaching their children about the environment (or making sure their kids learn about the outdoors), especially parents in Orange County, Calif., since they can get their schools, church & Scout groups and other organizations to take advantage of this really great facility, these two features are excellent reads.  Pass them along!

DSJC

I have to hand it to Starbucks.  They may be struggling under this economy (like so many businesses), but they STILL know how to get people into their locations and encourage purchases.  I’m talking about today’s offer of a free cup of coffee for those who claim it.  I claimed mine today…, and I bought a cup of Perfect Oatmeal.  You see; I didn’t feel right just walking up and getting a free cup of coffee.  As I looked around for something inexpensive to buy, I spotted a new item – Perfect Oatmeal, and I bought it though it was closer to lunch than breakfast.  No matter.  It WAS Perfect Oatmeal.  So, though Starbucks lost a little on me today with its Free Coffee loss leader, it gained a new customer for something I didn’t even know they had.  That’s Perfect Promotion.  What do you think?  Did you do the same—claim your coffee but bought something else?

DSJC.