St Conti Communicator

Archive for January 19th, 2009

“All right, you may cross.”  A sprite crossing guard who shepherds elementary school kids to and from my daughter’s school says these words many times each day.  The crossing guard, dressed in what usually looks like a house coat under her DayGlo yellow-green vest labeled “Crossing Guard” and wearing a red baseball cap, the tips of her gray curls just touching her shoulders, is all of four feet, nothing.  Yet, hundreds of people dutifully obey her commands:  “You may cross.”  “Stay in the cross walk.”  “Do not cross until I tell you.”

Standing at the curb, I’ve sometimes thought, “What’s the matter with us?  We can take her.  Just step out and go.”  But, I’ve never done that.  Sure, I’ve seen a few people who have, many of them quickly apologizing and returning to the curb or promising not to do it again as they scurry across to the other side while she chastises them.  See, even the rebellious ones have trepidation over going against the crossing guard.

Perhaps this is because we know she’s there to protect us.  Well, okay, she’s there to protect the kids.  Us adults just get to tag along and are expected to set good examples so the kids don’t get hurt. 

It’s really pretty cool; you know, having a crossing guard, someone to go out ahead of you and ensure the coast is clear; someone who’s been there before and knows the safe way to do it; someone to say, “Don’t go until all is safe.”

It kind of makes one wish we all had crossing guards for other aspects of our lives, someone who could keep us from dating the wrong person, from making uninformed investments, from experiencing many of Life’s pitfalls.  Boy, things would be a lot easier if we all had crossing guards for all that, someone saying, “Stay within the yellow lines,” whenever we even begin to misstep.

But then, we wouldn’t experience the full scope of Life either.  Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book, The Prophet, “Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears…  The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”  Gibran was right.

So, while I will continue to follow the commands of my daughter’s school crossing guard, I won’t wish for a crossing guard for the other aspects of my Life.  While Ms. Red Baseball Cap with DayGlo Vest is keeping the children and me safe, I want to occasionally make the wrong decision and then deal with the consequences.  We all must want that. 

Challenges make us grow, and, when we get to the other side of a challenge, when we beat the challenge, then we also get to savor the joy of having overcome it.  We get to know self-confidence. 

Decades ago, I read a book by Dr. Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!  It had a profound effect on how I approach Life.  The title says it all:  Yes, acknowledge fear, but just keep going.  Acknowledge that you can do it.  Then do it!

So, now I say to you, “Acknowledge the fear, but just keep going,” not because I’ve taken on the red hat and DayGlo mantle of being your Life’s crossing guard, but because you need to know you can handle just about anything Life hands you, even if you have to first work through the sorrow of some challenge.  Get through it, and you may know joy, too. 

Just… follow the commands of the crossing guard when it comes to getting to and from school.

All right, you may cross.

DSJC.